What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
