So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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