glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
