Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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