She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
