I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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