Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
