just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wish my penis had a tongue
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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