therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They should really pass out barf bags in church
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
