Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
this hospital has no fireball
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
