ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
