I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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