I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
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He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
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YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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