Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder