Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
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Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
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I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.