Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
