i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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