hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
