I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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