Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
