yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
