All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
