living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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