ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize