Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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