the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
