Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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