Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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