I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
