you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize