Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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