Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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