There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
