I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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