...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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