so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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