facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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