You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
