Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
