that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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