Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
