There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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