i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
