This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
