youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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