John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
