I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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