either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i was born a porn star she said
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
