party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize