i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
