You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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