I'll bet she douches with gravy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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