Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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