the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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