Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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