I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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